Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
