do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
