Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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