'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
