So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
