if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
