Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
