Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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