i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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