they need to just BURY HIM!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize