how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
