Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
