It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
