That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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