I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
