thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
