i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
