Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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