I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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