fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
