i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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