i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
