we're chasing vodka with high fives
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
