She is in my trunk
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
