No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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