You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
