What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Farmville is her only friend.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Found your dick twin last night
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
