margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
