he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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