none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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