My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
