Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
