Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
