i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
