One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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