you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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