maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
As shirtless as possible
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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