So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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