great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
