And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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