Where is the hickey?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So many bounce houses so little time
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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