You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
