quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
