she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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