It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
