we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
