get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
