i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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