More tranny stories later!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize