EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
