Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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