Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
