Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just pee around me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
