did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
