Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
