pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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