Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
