I cockslap morals
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
