I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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