Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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